if you're seeing this, it either means you're new to the memo and you've somehow lived this long without figuring out anything about the apocalypse game you're living in, or because you need a refresher on one of the game's mechanics. either way, this is the web destination for you. note that this will probably be under eternal construction until a) we figure out everything about the game (unlikely), b) we win the game, or c) everyone who has access to editing it dies or something.

this is stupid.

if you're here looking for echeladder information click this LINK.

if you need to find something specific, just hit the 'ctrl' key and the 'f' key at the same time. the website is presented in an earth english dialect, so it will use words like computer (husktop) and mostly reference to the human experience. more information on this here: link.

THE TRUTH REVEALED.

basics: where you are and what anything is.

• what is sburb / sgrub.

  sburb / sgrub is a game. most of us got the disc in the mail, some of us bought it, apparently some people just woke up with it on their computer one day even though i'm pretty sure that's not how any of this works. but regardless of how you got it it is, at the very least, presented as a game, and it made the world end.

  

• wait, what. what about my friends/family/coworkers/etc.

  part of the world dying means that the people on it die along with it. if your friends or lovers or whatever didn't get into the game, you aren't going to be seeing them again, unless they are immune to meteors.

  

• how does a game make the world end. why am i here.

  how does a game make the world end. how does a game make an entire solar system of planets. how does a game make teleportation or working technology. how does a game make planets that don't follow any of the laws of nature. how does a game make contact with aliens. how does--

  

• shut up. aliens. what do you mean aliens.

  since sburb started, and since this memo started, alien species have been introduced. to us humans, trolls are the aliens, and to you trolls, humans are the aliens. i'll figure out how to make a separate page for this, because there's a lot of information. update: you can now find this page here: link.

  

• okay. where am i.

  you're on a unique planet which the game has made just for you. appearances vary wildly, but one thing that rings true through all of them, besides a disregard for how planets work, is that they have some sort of a challenge set up for you. everybody has one of their own, and you're able to visit other people's planets, as well as other destinations, too.

  

• how do i play sburb / sgrub.

  assuming you haven't already, the first thing you should be doing is making a sprite. seeing as you're in the game, you should have available to you a flashing orb. you can put a couple of things in there and you'll be given a guide. if you're smart about it, this thing can be really helpful, giving you information about your planet and its quest, as well as some of the most basic aspects of the game. an old, more experienced player said that it would be best to put in something that can or once could talk, so that's something you might want to keep in mind.

  beyond that, you'll be doing alchemy, fighting monsters, and climbing gates, which are those big fucked up shapes in your sky. the game will slowly be building you up to these as you kill monsters and gain grist, and through them, you'll be able to visit other players. be warned that as you cross these, the difficulty level will increase. don't get yourself killed by rushing through them before you're prepared.

  i forgot to mention when i first made this page but you'll also be leveling up on what's called your echeladder. this will unlock grist, powers, etc. for you and in general just do the same shit that leveling up in a game generally does. reaching the end of it will also allow you to achieve godhood. you level up by killing monsters, doing dungeons, finishing quests, and so on and so forth, as far as i can tell so don't just sit on your ass.

  

• what is alchemy and how do i do it.

  there is now a more in depth page about this here. check it out if you need a guide or visuals or if you just want to look at how hard i worked on it.

  
  alchemy is a system introduced by the game. you have three machines. one spits out totems, one carves them, and one makes stuff out of that. someone else can probably explain this better than i can, but since you're in the game, it shouldn't be too hard to figure out what does what. you can also mix cards through && or ||, which will allow you to mix items with different effects. it's worth experimenting with, because using this system, you can make weapons, gear, machines, and necessary supplies such as food. a list of codes you can use has been provided here: link.
  

• what's up with my dreams and why are they (yellow/purple).

  you've woken up on a planet called (prospit/derse). prospit is the yellow one, i've never been there, and derse is the purple one. these are separate planets, where you have a separate body that wakes up whenever you go to sleep. there are little guys on there who might have information, too, and libraries and apparently secret underground shit. if you die and don't ascend, this will act as a second life.

  that said: don't die.

go to the next page:

it's fine.